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Want to know what’s wrong with dating in LA? Well, here’s one of the things that’s wrong with dating in LA — and I think it’s a guy thing.

In the last couple days, one guy told me that I was intimidating. And another guy told me that, while he thinks I’m totally great, he doesn’t want to go on a date with me because he’s concerned he wouldn’t be “fully present.” And as you saw in my latest OKCupid update, another guy told me I was a handful.

Let me rock your world for a second.

You know what’s a handful? War. Bombs. Suicide bombers.

Yeah, they are a handful.

A girl with a few too many things on her resume? Potentially complicated? Yes. Interesting? Definitely. But intimidating? Get OVER it. Do you know how many times I’ve been told that? To quote Notting Hill (everyone should quote rom-coms as often as possible, since real life, well, disappoints): “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

What happened to men? Or is it a gender-neutral thing? From over here, it feels like a guy thing. All these wimpy, whinging guys with their panties twisted up who forgot what it means to carpe that fucking diem.

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You want to know why I think Israelis are ranked as some of the happiest people in the world? Because they carpe that fucking diem. Because, you know, war.

An essay in the Daily Beast lays it out: “Israel ranked low in terms of income, housing, education and security for example—all things we would typical associate with contentment.” So why are they so damn happy? Professor Zahava Solomon of Tel Aviv University has studied the psychological profile of Israelis, and, as she points out, “The culture of conflict has made Israelis constantly aware of their potential demise; on the other it has made them virtually fearless.
 Think about it. 
How would you act if you woke up every morning thinking that this day could be your last?”

Would you worry about your emotional unavailability? About the fact that the girl across from you had published a few more books than you had? That she might be smarter? Or just awesome enough that you might want a real relationship with her — and holy shit — that would be scary? Because then you might be accountable. Then you might have to step up. Then you might actually have to do something that could, potentially, rock your world.

So here are your options. Shove those panties into a tighter knot so at least we don’t have to see them — or carpe that fucking diem.

Because you know what? I’m worth it — and I bet a lot of other girls are, too.

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