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These additional rules were written by a reader as a response to my original Totally Subjective Rules About Dating. They were so great that I wanted to give them their own post. Got more rules to add? Feel free to share! 

(The funny thing about all these rules is that they are really quite simple. Like someone? Treat them with respect and honesty — and never forget to make them feel appreciated. In other words, don’t be lazy. The end. Kind of like this guy said.)

The Digital Shepherd’s Reply to the 21st Century Nymph

1. Coffee is not a date. It’s an exit strategy. Communicate online long enough to know you can endure dinner… a real date.

2. I’m a feminist. And a gentleman. The gentleman pays unless the lady specifically asks him out with the expressed understanding that she wants to treat. In such case, the gentlemen happily honors the lady’s wishes.

3. A gentleman dresses appropriately and with a respect toward the lady. We will not meet at a Starbucks. Eventually, we will have our last first date and we should enjoy and remember it. The lady may dress as she pleases, but heels and lipstick are appreciated. Look like you expect to be kissed.

4. Perfect. I love to cook for a woman who appreciates the effort. A playlist created for the occasion. Wine.

5. I don’t play the “when should I call/text game.” If I like a woman, she doesn’t need the Rosetta Stone to know it.

6. Agreed unless your date has kids. Kids always come first and you should take their calls/texts, even on a date. No kids? Turn the ringer off and be in the moment.

7. A poem. A photo taken of something you need to see/share. A joke at noon. A thought. The tiniest gift. A bite of candy. A link to a stupid youtube video that made you laugh or think or swoon. Anything that means “I can’t help thinking about you.”

8. If I don’t run around the well, you can’t either. If I have my heart on my sleeve, you don’t get to puree it in bile and espresso and leave it in a lipstick-stained Styrofoam cup in the car for three days until you decide to spill it out the window on the 405 and have Kajon direct traffic over it for a week.

9. I’m a big fan of follow-through. I call when I say I will. I text. I write. A woman does not wonder about my feelings any more than I do. Communication and punctuality are not a sign of weakness. But I want the same.

10. Animals chase what runs from them and run from what chases them. Can we play a more evolved game?

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