Approximately seven years ago, I made a conscious choice to clean up my act. I mean this literally, although it didn’t happen all at once. I streamlined my website, removing photos, videos, and music until it was barebones.
I contacted people who had photos of me that might be deemed provocative and asked for them to be removed. I stopped performing. I stopped making music. I stopped writing erotica. I stopped taking erotic photographs. In other words, I stopped doing most of what I had been doing for the previous ten years.
This might seem a little extreme, perhaps a little perplexing, but I had a reason. I wanted a relationship.
During most of the time that I had been making all this art, I had been single. So I put two and two together and accepted the fact that I, as a package, was a lot to handle.
I dated a guy for a little while who told me that he could never have kids with me because he did not want to explain to them what their mother had done. All that salacious sexual work—the performances and the images and the naughty words. All that “difficult material.”
So I did everything I could to anchor my “difficult material” into an increasingly distant past.
I made it hard to find evidence of them online, and for the things I could not eradicate, I stopped talking about them. I tried to remove them from my metaphorical body and my literal life.
I spent the last seven years making myself as user-friendly as possible.
And then a few months ago, I realized something. I was still single. And I wasn’t happy.
So I’ve decided to bring it all back. I’ve been bringing it all back, as those of you who follow this blog or my Facebook page or my newsletter already know. I may be banishing myself to a life of spinsterhood, but at least it will be a life full of words and images and ideas. I may be a little hesitant about it all, but I’m far too impatient to give into a little hesitation.
So my next book of erotica, Breathe With Me, will be out in a few weeks. And I’ve Been a Naughty Girl is going to be released as a spectacular new edition in a couple months. And the final edits for Queen of Hearts are in progress.
Stay tuned for provocation.
Oh, and don’t call it a comeback.